It's Friday night and I'm sitting in my dorm listening to music. I've already cleaned and did some homework, but I can't do anymore. All the other girls do is get together and eat, so I definitely don't want to be around that. I was hoping to go out tonight and drink until I throw up. It's fun and I empty my stomach. I haven't eaten much today. But tomorrow my parents want to meet for dinner at Outback. Not only is it impossible to not eat a lot there, my parents are super observant of how much I eat. My mom, especially. Oh well. i'll tell her I ate already or something so I don't have to eat a lot. Hope you all are having a much more exciting Friday night than I am. Love you all.<333

I hate when I'm waiting up for my boyfriend to get home and all I can do to while away the time is eat. And coursework doesn't make it any easier! I don't think he will be back until 5am... :(
Maybe I should just sleep instead! Fuck him! lol
hmmmmm time for thinspo i think
( skinnyskinny <3 )

love xxxx
 ps. sorry if the cut doesnt work :(

 To reach my GW for the 19th I'd have to lose 5 lbs a week, which I tell myself is possible as long as I'm good. 

I'm pretty much just constantly setting myself up for failure.

is terrified to go face the scale.
so shes going to exercise instead
deal?
deal.

5 cups of hot green tea, how many calories do you think it burned?

i drank one after the other...

Current Mood: Loopy

its like happening again I have two C's in school so I totally flip and on top of that according to a college placement test I have to take some basic skills courses (but I think its just because I have a problem with taking tests) so it gets me really upset and instead of crying which I feel like doing I just take it out with an ed and its the same way with how I feel like a horrible girlfriend for using up all of my time on sports and classes instead of seeing my boyfriend I feel horrible for that so I feel worthless and I take it out on myself with my ed

so i was looking in the mirror.. and then i realized how fat i was and started crying.
if only you knew <3

Last night I was looking in the mirror and I realised that my collar bone has started to become more prominent.
It's always stuck out, it even did when I was a huge cow, but now it just looks so pretty.
Also, when I woke up this morning my stomach muscles were screaming from the cardio and abs workout I did yesterday.
It was the best thing ever.
So my question for you guys is, if you had to pick one part of your body that you like, what would it be?

 Someone help me...

( .... )

<3 beth

oh and while i continue to be a post whore...


I HATE seeing people who are so damn skinnier than me in real life.
thinspo, i can do.
but theres this wicked skinny girl in my spanish class, and her legs are beautiful.
i envy them.
and then theres this other girl who has hips but such skinny legs, and it's impossible for them to touch.
there's like a foot between them.. and i'm so fucking jealous.
she'd have to gain like 50 pounds before her legs touched and she'd still be SUPER skinny.
and her arms? to die for.

god. i'm such a fatty.

Current Mood: bitchy